I am a MadDog now

Hello again,

I entered my first grade classroom on August 10, 2015 patiently waiting for my new students to arrive at 8 o’clock. With much help from my teaching assistants, my classroom was ready for the arrival of 25 six and seven-year-olds. The first day was filled with activities: an assembly first thing in the morning, school wide trash clean up, and buddy reading. I didn’t have to plan much on the first day because of these planned activities. In the time I had in the classroom I introduced myself to the children and shared information about myself I thought they would enjoy hearing. I played a name game with the children in hopes of learning all of their names on the first day. I did not.

I had made plans for the next day and thought they were solid. I thought that I knew what I was doing. I did not. Around 9:30 in the morning my friend, the Third Grade teacher, walked by with her class because they were practicing walking in a line. She could tell I was having trouble and she brought her class in to do some buddy reading. Meanwhile I left my classroom, crying, and went to the principal. I felt like I was one of the six-year-olds in my classroom, but they all felt comfortable in their new roles as first graders. They were confident that, as their teacher, I would know what I was doing. I did not.

In my principal’s office I was able to explain that I was overwhelmed and felt like I had no idea what I was doing in the classroom. I felt stupid. She told me to take some breaths and handed me an apple. She told me that when I felt ready to go back into my classroom she would be in there doing a writing lesson with my first grade class. I ate the apple, slowly and peacefully, knowing that my class was in good hands with my principal, and that I was too. I watched her interact with the children and help them sound out words to write a few sentences about their favorite movies. It looked so simple and natural when she was doing it.

At lunch I talked to my friend Emily to reflect on my breakdown. I said, “I think part of me thought I was on vacation.” Apparently I’m not. It’s a lot of work and hard work.

I talked with my principal after school about a plan for the rest of the week. I asked her if she would come in and model some different actives and she said she would love to. I was able to observe her engaging the students in morning meeting, reading groups, writing, and a read aloud. I picked up on the language she used with the kids and how she got them to think about the work they were doing. As the week went on I was able to pick up on those skills and use her strategies in my classroom, with my first grade students.

I have just finished my second week of teaching at the Majuro Cooperative School. My students are already telling me they love me and they think that I am a great teacher. I have learned so much about myself in these two short weeks. I have learned that it is okay to be scared and not know what I’m doing. I now know that I can wing it when I need to and it will still turn out okay. I have learned that I pick things up very well and learn by observation and modeling professionals. I now know to ask for help when I need it because the people around are so willing to give it. I have learned not to be so hard on myself because teaching does take practice and I will learn how to be the best I can be. I have learned that I have a sweet, smart, loving class and I can’t wait to spend the year learning with them. 

Although it hasn’t been long I already feel at home at this school. I feel like I am one of the MadDogs, the Majuro Cooperative School’s mascot. It feels incredible to be in this beautiful place, surrounded by beautiful people.

I have been taking time after school and on the weekends to enjoy this amazing place and myself outside of work. I take walks with my friends, go to out to dinner, swim and snorkel, and just simply enjoy being here together. 

“I’m not afraid of storms, for I’m learning to sail my ship.” -Aeschylus